Okay so I would just like to add this post to explain some things. I am the originator of this blog, and I've been loving it so far. However I'm sick of hounding the other room mates to get their questions answered. So what we're going to do is go back to basics, we're going to post weekly, we're all too busy, well some of us. So every Sunday we will all submit our questions, edit them, and add them to the site. Updating every night is too tough. Personally I wanted to post every week but everyone else thought you as readers would get bored, it doesn't seem that way. So we'll be posting the questions we receive every week, on Sunday. We're really looking for your responses so please reply to this post with any comments, also please reply to your questions and any other posts you like. Follow us with the link on the right and keep checking back for updates. We'll probably post quips and stories of what goes on during the week just about daily but the Q&A will be at the beginning of the week. I'm sorry, only because it's too difficult, they don't have the time or energy I guess to write every night... So Sunday is the new day and please send in more questions. We love them all but we're running out! Thanks so much guys, sorry I sound aggravated. Xoxo grey
Oh by the way, deadline is Saturday night for us and tomorrow we'll be posting.
Along with this quick thing; If you send in a question on from Sunday to Friday, it will be posted the next Sunday. Like okay If you send in your question on Sunday it will be up 7 days later...up until Friday, make sense? Thanks guys send them into apt1227@verizon.net
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Why are we always apologizing?!? =)
Hey there readers don't forget to send in your questions, as many as you can, as often as you can. We really need them, hopefully and before long this site will be up and running at it's new location with tons of questions. We're still working stuff out and we're sorry that we haven't posted in a couple days but the work load really truly is alot. We will however be posting tomorrow night and from there on out it should be clear sailing so please send in all your questions and we can't wait to hear from you. Apt 1227
Send in questions to
apt1227@verizon.net
Remember this site is completely anonymous we don't even keep the emails, just the questions and the signatures, we love them ALL.
Send in questions to
apt1227@verizon.net
Remember this site is completely anonymous we don't even keep the emails, just the questions and the signatures, we love them ALL.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The follow up..
So we've posted our first Question and Answer, we realize it's very long. We're going to shorten them a little, and edit better. However, we need your help! We don't have enough questions to post another. In order for this to continue, we need more questions, We love doing this, you love reading, But we can't be answering our own questions. Please submit as many as you like as often as you like, we're still working on the second round of answers but two of our bloggers got really sick this week, so send in more questions and we'll post ASAP.. Thanks so much guys and gals.
Apt1227
Apt1227
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Our First Post with answers!
This is our first question, the reason being, It's the first question we received, Also this question gave us the most difficulty. We collectively talked about our answer, submitted them and this question gave us some good debate and great views. We're all new room mates here so this is helping us to get to know you as well as get to know each other. Thanks so much for the questions, more to come tomorrow.
Do you feel that there is a hell?
Crazy in PA
Hey crazy in P.A
IS THERE A HELL? WOW!!! What a tough question, nobody can truly answer. After all answers and all advice, you really have to come to this conclusion on your own and will only find peace with yourself when you decide for yourself and no matter what you hear or see stick to who you are and what you believe. I personally have very strong beliefs about religion that I will try not to let influence how I answer this question. I am still trying to decide whether there is a hell or not. I feel am leaning more towards NO. The word hell is really never mentioned in the christian bible. Jesus does state "Upon this rock I will form my church and the Gates of Hades will not prevail against it." This is strange because "HADES" comes from Greek Mythology. If Jesus meant this literally this would contradict Jesus' life and "Religion" altogether.
Maybe he was trying to make a comparison or Reference to something that was widely known and very serious in that day so his point would be more stern or better understood as Powerful. To look at the historical side of it the word "HELL" came from the mythological "Hades" in Greek Mythology Hades was the ruler of the Greek Underworld. In mythology, he was the brother of Zeus and Poseidon, and therefore from the first generation of Olympian gods. The manner in which Hades became the Lord of the Shadowy Underworld is worth mentioning. According to the myth, the three sons of Kronos and Rhea; Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades, each drew lots to determine which part of the world they would rule. Zeus and Poseidon received the sky and the seas respectively, and Hades was therefore left with the Underworld. Hades ruled the realm of the dead alone. That is, until he became enamored of the beautiful Goddess Persephone. Although the relationship between Hades and Persephone appears to have begun badly - Hades abducted his future bride and whisked her away in a chariot - their union was peaceful (unlike the marriage of his brother Zeus...). This is so strangely confusing how did "HELL" the flaming, fiery scary place with a horned devil and pitch fork come from? I don't know. This is my opinion; The word hell did come from more modern religions and almost seems as if it is a word associated with a place that is scary and threatening "if you do not obey". I do believe there is a soul and an after life of some sort but the word "HELL" or "HADES" does not apply. I prefer to look towards the benefit and the positive of my religious beliefs. If followed correctly, "HELL" or any other negative or threatening place cannot affect me at all, only the good. So maybe you need to decide what are your beliefs positives and not the negatives and focus on those. I hope this helps at all. I know this is very vague but it is what I've got, If you need a follow up I will be here. Steeder.
I do feel there is a hell but my hell is different than alot of other peoples ideas of hell. I think when we die there are two choices, to live in eternal happiness and joy with Jesus Christ in heaven or we can live in a place of despair. I picture hell as more of a place of constant fear, scary stuff, sadness, and loneliness. I don't think we're going to burn all the time, like I don't picture it as a big pit of fire where we all just cook cause I think the burning would get old. I see it as more like the levels in the classic Dante's Inferno, but different. I don't think we will be judged based on what we did more than what we're afraid of. Like I see myself personally being in a black hole for eternity and falling into holes all the time, with people chasing me with chainsaws and handguns. Cause those are some of my biggest fears. It's a weird rendition I'll admit but That's how I see it. I don't think I'm going to hell, because me and God, or what I call god, have a very good relationship. However if I did go to hell, and I might, cause nobody really knows the outcome I think that's where I would be. I know alot of people who have threatened me with hell in my life and I think, just based on personal experience that it, like many other things has been twisted to be this terrible Saw series movie. It just doesn't make sense to me. A couple really good books talk about this, one is Dante's Inferno by Dante Alighieri More commonly known as the Divine Comedy, Dante talks about the different levels of hell, it's quite interesting but it's a big book so be prepared. So in short yes I do feel there is a hell. Xoxo Grey
Well, wanna start by saying thank you so much for considering apt1227 to answer you question.
I'm extremely glad you asked this question. It was once a heated debate amngust a group of friends.I personally don't feel there is a hell. If you think about it. Someone would be considered Hell bound for the way they lived there life on earth. Which would be not according to Gods word, but if you think about it, a punishment should be equal to the crime done. If someone lived a life of sin for 25 years should the time spent in "Hell" be the same amount of time. To be in hell for Eternity would be unjust. What if someone only lived for 2 years they never had a chance to make good or bad decisions, does that automatically grant them a pass to Heaven. Also If God created man in his image, and Satan is adversary, why would god set a contract to have Satan take the "bad people" and he take the "good people". So in closing, Is hell a burning pit fire created by God to stow away the sinners. Its just not a concept that I can actually agree with. Kess-Kess
To answer the question directly, Do I feel that there is a Hell? I really don't know what I feel. I used to believe that there was a Heaven and hell and that there was a God and He was our creator. At this time unfortunately I am sorta in a transitional period (that's my personal name for it) where I'm not really sure what I believe in. I can say that if the topic is of interest to you the best advice that I could give you is to just search your heart and try to figure out how you really feel. Sorry that you caught me at such a time in my life where I am unable to give you a yes or no answer on how I feel but that is the best answer that I have at this time.
<3>
My question is how do you kick a habit? I have been struggling with something for a very long time. I want to know if you guys think that you can ever really stop a habit for good.
Restless in PA
Oh Restless,
I'm trying to quit smoking right now and it's kicking my ass! I quit habits by picking up another one, not even kidding. I used to cut when I was younger, I quit cutting because I replaced it with smoking. This is never a good idea because you'll always be some sort of addicted wuss. But really that's how I quit. I'm going through some stressful times right now and I'm ready to face the world sober, without smoking. I think it's too much of a crutch for me. And I think now that I'm beginning to realize how it is affecting my health, I will be able to quit easier. My thing is gradually smoke less and less, or bite less and less or chew less and less. and eventually it won't be a habit but an occasional thing and that's easier to stop than anything. Also if you get a best friend or a good friend who's dealing with the same thing, work them, it's a chain of support. Two links are better than one, but five would be awesome! Like diet tribe! Just remember you have more will power and strength than any habit. Now step out there and go whoop some habit ass. Xoxo Grey.
Most definitely, Its really something you have to put your mind to... and I know that sound a bit Cliche, but believe me if you believe you can do it the you can kick any habit... I really wish I knew that the habit was so I could give a little more detail as to how you can kick the habit. What I can say is take it one day at a time, start off by trying not doing this habit for 1 day and then try it again the next, and then the next day and next thing you know quite some time has passed and you would barely remember you had a habit at all. Now my question to you is, Has the habit turned into an addiction? If it has its okay you can still get over it, that just means we have a lot more to talk about, But if its just a bad habit like biting your nails or farting in public we can definitely work through it together. If you ever have a moment of weakness feel free to email us at anytime and we will try our best to get you though it. Well I hope you sunny days and starry nights. Kess-Kess
I have also been struggling for a very long time to kick a habit. I'm a nail biter...as disgusting and painful as it is I just cant stop sometimes until it starts to bleed. There are times where I can go a month or so without gnawing on my fingers constantly and then for whatever reason; a scary movie or an extra boring class I just get the urge to bite all my nails off. I really feel that it is possible to stop a habit, but you have to really want it. When I get the urge to bite all my nails off in my mind I just really don't care anymore and do it. The thing is if you get the feeling that you want to do your habit you have to convince your self that its not something that your really interested in doing. I have always heard that you only have to go 21 days without doing the habit and then you will no longer be tied down by your habit. So my answer is that yes I think that you can kick a habit I would just say take every day in stride and wake up each morning with the mind set that can overcome your habit. I haven't been biting for 6 days and counting so let me know how it goes and if it helps keep in mind that I'm struggling with you.
<3>
I have struggled with so many habits in my life, I have been so beat down by failure. Today I can honestly say I am more free than I ever have been. People that have never had a life controlling habit or one that has changed their life for the worse do not understand the word FREE. I DO and am sure if you are truly wanting to leave this behind, you will too. I have put an end to many habits in my life by changing my mind set towards them. People do what they want, not what they feel like they have to. Somebody may say " I need to quit smoking for the money or my health." but they continue to smoke. How about the want? "I do not want to smoke, it is just a glitch in my brain, or a habit I need to break" Approach is first and planning is second. I do not know your habit, but this will help with any habit. Knowing what triggers that habit, and to become stronger in your mind, stay away from those. Accountability is key. You need somebody in your life who you can share this habit with, that will not fall with you. You need to honestly trust and let this person help you. You can break this habit IF YOU WANT!!! Steeder.
Apt1227,
I am very confused about the relationship that I have with my best friend. He is a gay male and I am a straight female, but I feel that he understands me so well and we have so much fun together. I am actually starting to have mixed feelings for him. I know that he is gay but sometimes I feel like I like him as more than just a friend. At times, it seems as though he could maybe feel the same way. I know this sounds incredibly stupid because no one wants to be the dumb girl that falls for her gay best friend but I'm afraid that I have. My question is, do I tell him? I'm afraid that if I do, I will lose a great friend. What should I do?
Confused in Virginia
Dear confused.
I want to start off by saying thanks so much for the kind words. We appreciate hearing that. Ok, so I thought the first time I read this that you should tell him how you really feel and if he really loves you then he would understand. But now after some thought I think that it may be better for your friendship if you refrained from springing on him how you feel. If he was a single straight mail that was your best friend then I would say go for it. But the fact is that he's gay. To have the courage to come out, you have to put alot of long hard thought into the matter so even though he may love you too the thing is that he will probably never be attracted to you, and that would not be fair for either of you to be in that relationship. If you do decide to tell him even though like I said, I think its better if you don't, I doubt you will lose him as a friend. I also feel like you need to think of him as a girl friend not a guy that you are friends with. Other than that I'm really unsure of how to answer this question! In the end I guess my answer is go with your heart but you never wanna come on too strong or too desperate.
<3>
Once upon a time there was a straight boy and a gay boy, they lived in a magical kingdom called the small town. The straight boy was the most beautiful prince in ALL the land, and the gay boy was the only gay boy in the village. The gay boy fell in love because the two were such good friends. He felt as though the prince could have the same feelings back at times....Look I'm not even going to go on. This story does not have a good ending, But here's a better one that's more your type. I'm gay, and I had a best friend many many moons ago, we were so close we could practically read each others mind via text msg. So I know where you're coming from. Well... She came around one day and told me that she thought she was falling in love with me. And it hurt. Because I really did love her, we would spend so much time together that at times it felt like she could be all I need. But then I was reminded that I couldn't be in love with her, or push the relationship any farther and be happy. She began to suffocate me with the love stuff. Well This is what I said, "I love you girl, I really do, more than most people could fathom, I'm just not in love with you, I wasn't born to be in love with you, and I couldn't make a relationship out of this and not feel terrible." I think it's fantastic that you are in love with your bff, I really do. Here's the thing, much like my situation, You and this boy couldn't be together. It's just not fair, to either one of you. Do you want to be in a relationship and be with someone who isn't drowning in love with you? If it was me, and I told her this, I would constantly be wanting something more, the love wouldn't be there, going to bed would be no good, not to mention depressing, and I just couldn't do that to you. You deserve more. Not that he's not a great guy, You just deserve someone straight, why put the both of you in that position? Well, my friendship with this girl went on...and eventually she couldn't handle it because the rejection was just too much for her. And I understood that. We're no longer friends, and sometimes people are only in our lives for a season. And that's okay. Personally I think you could tell him, but be prepared. And I would say just wait...because the man of your dreams is going to come along and when he does, I know you need someone to help you pick out that white dress. Xoxo Grey.
Thank you for the inspiration. Your question is a bit tough. In the end when you take action or not you still have to decide whether he is what you want and if you are willing to take the risk to get what you most want. To get started I am a straight male and am dating a girl who I had to go far out of my way to get to speak with her and when I did finally did speak the conversation was so basic and quick I made no progress. I did know this girls friends, so I had to decide what to do. I could put the word in with her friends who would relay it to her and she would become interested or it would make me look like the immature guy who was afraid to approach her and had a stupid crush. So I decided to try, I weighed the risk and decided that if it worked the gain would be worth so much more than if it failed, I would have to feel uncomfortable for a little while around some friends or my life would change and become better. Well It worked! We are dating today and the relationship is amazing. She is actual one of the writers on this blog. In this situation in my life going out there was so worth it and paid off. I would never have been able to forgive myself if I had not tried. You wrote how he understands you so much and is such a good friend. How could he not understand now? Also how could he let you caring about him so much ruin your relationship? I don't believe a best friend would end the relationship because you express your feelings. You may get denied but will move forward from here but, YOUR DREAMS MAY COME TRUE!! Everything in life worth having is worth going after. Don't be afraid to fail you will have another chance to succeed tomorrow. Will you be able to just let this go if you dont try? Will you ever be at peace if you never know? The decision is all yours. There is only one way to find true closure. Steeder.
Thank you so much for the compliment and hopefully our advice will allow you to make a better decision in the end. Don't worry we will always have an answer for you. Well you have got yourself into a little predicament, and I completely understand your frustration. I feel you should tell him, however lets start of with the basic definition of a best friend; "The one friend who is closest to you, or a person you know well and regard with affection and trust." So with that said, as a best friend he should understand how you feel and why you feel that way. I can tell you though the timing has to be flawless, because that could possibly determine his reaction. If your friendship is truly that strong that you can call him your BFF, then it will be able to withstand anything you throw at it. Well I hope you have Sunny days and starry nights. And Hey I would love to know the outcome of this situation so please feel free to comment back, I have a feeling you have nothing to worry about. Kess-Kess
Hello. I am really shy when it comes to being in large groups of people. I party all the time but never really have enough nerve to walk up to people I don't know and start a conversation. I have often wished that I could be the center of the party, but I am always afraid of what people will think of me. That they might think that I am a complete sped. I have never really had great self-confidence. I was wondering if maybe you could give me some advice on how to be more confident in social settings...
Lamo in Nevada
Lamo, I've never had an issue with being social. Honestly I've always been a very outgoing and personable, that doesn't mean I don't get incredibly nervous in party situations, especially when there's cute boys. We all know how that can be! I do have friends who also struggle with this same problem. I think alot of times people, like yourself, find themselves in these situations and pick out anything they can from the crowd that makes them different. The fear of falling is what keeps us all from stepping out onto a ledge. Worrying about what people think of you will get you nowhere, fast. Trust me I've been there. Their opinions of you will do nothing for you in the long run. So here's my answer: Get your confidence bumping with some awesome music before you get there and don't stop the party once you get there. Get out there and push yourself against your fears. Becoming the life of the party is all in your hands, you just have to fake some confidence and face the music. I'm probably not the best person to answer this question just
because I am such a social butterfly. Mwah! Xoxo Grey.
We all take comfort in saying alot of other people have the same problem as me and I am not alone in this. This is one of those situations. I personally feel the same. I have been very successful in relationships, in life and have been very popular with many friends. I still struggle in large groups or at parties. I have even found myself rehearsing what would make a great conversation or would make me look cool in front of others. I have found this is only a partial fix. Really the root of the problem is being concerned with what others think about me. I have come to the conclusion that relationships and people come and go and rarely ever last. So why do I care about what they think. I have found in group situations; if I make myself focus on that fact, tomorrow I will still be fine, I will still have friends. It does seem to boost your confidence and take your mind off of what other people think. We are our worst critics, always judging ourselves a very unfair judgment. I have found that people always see us differently than we see ourselves. Realizing that, will help you so much. You may think that people think you are unattractive when you are great looking, or you are a sped when you are pretty cool. People tell me all the time I am really good looking but I do not feel that I am. I have begun to see I do not see myself as others do. Everybody has self confidence issues of some sort, no matter who they are or what they look like. Realize you are just as good as everybody else, worth loving and being loved. Maybe you are the only one who thinks otherwise. Steeder.
Well this is an interesting question for me because I have always been a really shy person. I have really red hair and always have. When I was younger people would always come up to me and comment on my hair and touch it. It always freaked me out and finally I would just resort to hiding behind one of my parents legs. As a result I am very self conscious and it is hard for me to assert myself in social settings. But in recent years I heard somewhere that every time you go outside of your comfort zone that you make yourself a stronger person, So I have been trying lately to make myself uncomfortable as often as possible. Any time that I am at a party I just try to think that everyone is here for a good time so I just go for it. The thing is that most people seem to want to talk about themselves so maybe one way to start a conversation is to start by asking questions about themselves rather than giving information about you. Also if it is a party with dancing and you have an issue with that; Again, I feel like you should just go for it. I used to always be so scared that everyone would think that my dancing sucked and that I looked like a complete idiot, But the thing is dancing is just a personal expression of who you are and quite frankly all dancing looks pretty ridiculous if you ask me. Any ways just be yourself, I'm sure people will like you regardless and if they don't, screw them, they don't deserve your attention. Good luck and just remember,have fun and love your self.
<3kayla
Lamo in Nevada
Well, being the social butterfly that I am, I hope my tips can help you to be
be outgoing and confident at a social event. Remember you are your biggest critic so let's start with step one.
Tip #1: Believe in yourself!
Believe in yourself that you are valuable and you can bring a lot to the conversation and to the table. You need to believe in yourself before anyone can believe in you. If you are passionate about something share it with others. By talking about things you feel you excel in or have a lot of knowledge about you will feel confident about the subject. This will make people take a glance and realize that you believe in yourself and so should they.
Tip #2: Take long deep breaths.
If you start to feel overwhelmed by the situation and you just don't feel like you are confident enough to tackle the task at hand, take long, deep breaths. By relaxing your body and mind through breathing, you will feel more confident and the shyness will just melt away. You can also try to literally shake the tension from your body by shaking out your arms and hands. You may want to do when no one is watching. as to not get the awkward stares from your fellow party goers.
Tip #3: Face your fears.
If you feel you become more reserved and shy when you are at social events then force yourself to go where there are people to talk to and interact with. If you have a shyness for the opposite sex then force yourself to join a group that has both male and female members.
Tip #4: Befriend a social Butterfly.
You may also find it easy to find someone who poses the qualities that you want at a social event or just in general and follow there lead.
I hope these tips help you in becoming center of attention. However before I conclude this blog, I would just like to prepare you for the day you become the life of the party. There will always be people that judge you and talk about you it comes with the territory. So have to start by not caring what people think you because in the end it doesn't even matter. So feel free to send us an email about your time in the limelight and how you put my tips in effect. Well I hope you have sunny days and starry nights. Kess-Kess
Hey. I have issues reading aloud in front of a group of people, it really sucks when I am at school. It seems like the teacher always picks me to stand up in front of the class and makes me read. I need some advice on how to read smoother so that I don't look like an ass in front of the class.
Stuttering in TX
Dear Stuttering In TX
Hey, hows it going? I felt like i should answer this blog first because I can totally understand
how you feel about not only struggling with something in your life, about yourself that you don't
like and want to change but are having a hard time with. I also can relate with the idea of being
put in fornt of others and not being comfortable. I personally am unable to function correctly in
front of other people, like rite now i am reading out loud as I type and I sound like a total idiot.
So I hope this helps you and makes you feel better. I feel like stuttering can be looked at as alot of things that you want to accomplish. You have to start some were, develop a plan and technique to improve your skills. I have read the actor James Earl Jones had a terrible stuttering problem as a child which is strange because he is famous for his voice and the fact that he is awesome enough to be the voice of Darth Vader speaks for itself, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LET THIS HOLD YOU BACK FROM ANYTHING!. Along with you so many people have struggled with this problem and overcome. If you want to read about a few names you might recognize click on this WebSite http://www.d.umn.edu/~cspiller/stutteringpage/famous.htm So a plan or schedule needs to be set into play. In the movie The Notebook one of the characters had a bad stuttering problem as a child and he began reading poetry out loud on a regular basis which fixed the problem. Also I have read researchers have discovered that strangely people who normally tend to stutter don't while they are singing. To use this to your advantage, try forming a rhythm to your voice when you speak. Before you say something out loud, try and take a moment to briefly run your sentences in your head mentally, before you actually say them. Maybe talking slowly and clearly is better than not making sense at all.***This one is for public speaking. Even people who normally don't stutter tend to out of nervousness when they have to give a speech. Fix your gaze towards a certain focal point at the back of the room. Avoid looking at anybody directly.Unfortunately, only you can stop the stuttering problem you have. There is no magic pill or device that can do it for you. The good news is, you can stop the stuttering in practically no time if you know how to do it right. So i hope this helps. Give me an update in the future with any progress, I am excited
hear how you are doing. Steeder.
Stutterer, I think we had the same English teacher. No joke. In high school I had the same issue with a teacher, I never knew if it was because he didn't like me or because he thought I was fantastic. I'm really not that great in english so I'm guessing he just didn't like me, whatever he was very abrassive anyways. Did you see the movie the notebook? It was great and there's a part in it where it talks about stammerring but I don't really think that applies to you, if it does then follow it, and read poetry every night outloud to help you read smoother. My personal problem was that I had to read out loud in front of my peers and I sat behind my high school crush so there was alot of pressure. So this is what I did; when my teacher would call on me, I would take a nice deep breath, slowly let it out and read as if I was just reading to a child, and don't be afraid to go in after class and say, look, I stammer and I don't appreciate being called on every damn day. Quit it! I'm sure he'll understand if you're nice, mine didn't but that's another day. Also if it's a major issue and you're being deliberatly made fun of or called out because of it, speak with your administration and try speech therapy, it's very confidential. No worries mate, anyone who laughs at your stuttering needs a good swift kick in the pants, and some girls and guys find it cute. Xoxo Grey.
I choose to second Steeder's answer, because he said exactly what I would say.
<3kayla
I'm with <3kayla
Kess-Kess
Do you feel that there is a hell?
Crazy in PA
Hey crazy in P.A
IS THERE A HELL? WOW!!! What a tough question, nobody can truly answer. After all answers and all advice, you really have to come to this conclusion on your own and will only find peace with yourself when you decide for yourself and no matter what you hear or see stick to who you are and what you believe. I personally have very strong beliefs about religion that I will try not to let influence how I answer this question. I am still trying to decide whether there is a hell or not. I feel am leaning more towards NO. The word hell is really never mentioned in the christian bible. Jesus does state "Upon this rock I will form my church and the Gates of Hades will not prevail against it." This is strange because "HADES" comes from Greek Mythology. If Jesus meant this literally this would contradict Jesus' life and "Religion" altogether.
Maybe he was trying to make a comparison or Reference to something that was widely known and very serious in that day so his point would be more stern or better understood as Powerful. To look at the historical side of it the word "HELL" came from the mythological "Hades" in Greek Mythology Hades was the ruler of the Greek Underworld. In mythology, he was the brother of Zeus and Poseidon, and therefore from the first generation of Olympian gods. The manner in which Hades became the Lord of the Shadowy Underworld is worth mentioning. According to the myth, the three sons of Kronos and Rhea; Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades, each drew lots to determine which part of the world they would rule. Zeus and Poseidon received the sky and the seas respectively, and Hades was therefore left with the Underworld. Hades ruled the realm of the dead alone. That is, until he became enamored of the beautiful Goddess Persephone. Although the relationship between Hades and Persephone appears to have begun badly - Hades abducted his future bride and whisked her away in a chariot - their union was peaceful (unlike the marriage of his brother Zeus...). This is so strangely confusing how did "HELL" the flaming, fiery scary place with a horned devil and pitch fork come from? I don't know. This is my opinion; The word hell did come from more modern religions and almost seems as if it is a word associated with a place that is scary and threatening "if you do not obey". I do believe there is a soul and an after life of some sort but the word "HELL" or "HADES" does not apply. I prefer to look towards the benefit and the positive of my religious beliefs. If followed correctly, "HELL" or any other negative or threatening place cannot affect me at all, only the good. So maybe you need to decide what are your beliefs positives and not the negatives and focus on those. I hope this helps at all. I know this is very vague but it is what I've got, If you need a follow up I will be here. Steeder.
I do feel there is a hell but my hell is different than alot of other peoples ideas of hell. I think when we die there are two choices, to live in eternal happiness and joy with Jesus Christ in heaven or we can live in a place of despair. I picture hell as more of a place of constant fear, scary stuff, sadness, and loneliness. I don't think we're going to burn all the time, like I don't picture it as a big pit of fire where we all just cook cause I think the burning would get old. I see it as more like the levels in the classic Dante's Inferno, but different. I don't think we will be judged based on what we did more than what we're afraid of. Like I see myself personally being in a black hole for eternity and falling into holes all the time, with people chasing me with chainsaws and handguns. Cause those are some of my biggest fears. It's a weird rendition I'll admit but That's how I see it. I don't think I'm going to hell, because me and God, or what I call god, have a very good relationship. However if I did go to hell, and I might, cause nobody really knows the outcome I think that's where I would be. I know alot of people who have threatened me with hell in my life and I think, just based on personal experience that it, like many other things has been twisted to be this terrible Saw series movie. It just doesn't make sense to me. A couple really good books talk about this, one is Dante's Inferno by Dante Alighieri More commonly known as the Divine Comedy, Dante talks about the different levels of hell, it's quite interesting but it's a big book so be prepared. So in short yes I do feel there is a hell. Xoxo Grey
Well, wanna start by saying thank you so much for considering apt1227 to answer you question.
I'm extremely glad you asked this question. It was once a heated debate amngust a group of friends.I personally don't feel there is a hell. If you think about it. Someone would be considered Hell bound for the way they lived there life on earth. Which would be not according to Gods word, but if you think about it, a punishment should be equal to the crime done. If someone lived a life of sin for 25 years should the time spent in "Hell" be the same amount of time. To be in hell for Eternity would be unjust. What if someone only lived for 2 years they never had a chance to make good or bad decisions, does that automatically grant them a pass to Heaven. Also If God created man in his image, and Satan is adversary, why would god set a contract to have Satan take the "bad people" and he take the "good people". So in closing, Is hell a burning pit fire created by God to stow away the sinners. Its just not a concept that I can actually agree with. Kess-Kess
To answer the question directly, Do I feel that there is a Hell? I really don't know what I feel. I used to believe that there was a Heaven and hell and that there was a God and He was our creator. At this time unfortunately I am sorta in a transitional period (that's my personal name for it) where I'm not really sure what I believe in. I can say that if the topic is of interest to you the best advice that I could give you is to just search your heart and try to figure out how you really feel. Sorry that you caught me at such a time in my life where I am unable to give you a yes or no answer on how I feel but that is the best answer that I have at this time.
<3>
My question is how do you kick a habit? I have been struggling with something for a very long time. I want to know if you guys think that you can ever really stop a habit for good.
Restless in PA
Oh Restless,
I'm trying to quit smoking right now and it's kicking my ass! I quit habits by picking up another one, not even kidding. I used to cut when I was younger, I quit cutting because I replaced it with smoking. This is never a good idea because you'll always be some sort of addicted wuss. But really that's how I quit. I'm going through some stressful times right now and I'm ready to face the world sober, without smoking. I think it's too much of a crutch for me. And I think now that I'm beginning to realize how it is affecting my health, I will be able to quit easier. My thing is gradually smoke less and less, or bite less and less or chew less and less. and eventually it won't be a habit but an occasional thing and that's easier to stop than anything. Also if you get a best friend or a good friend who's dealing with the same thing, work them, it's a chain of support. Two links are better than one, but five would be awesome! Like diet tribe! Just remember you have more will power and strength than any habit. Now step out there and go whoop some habit ass. Xoxo Grey.
Most definitely, Its really something you have to put your mind to... and I know that sound a bit Cliche, but believe me if you believe you can do it the you can kick any habit... I really wish I knew that the habit was so I could give a little more detail as to how you can kick the habit. What I can say is take it one day at a time, start off by trying not doing this habit for 1 day and then try it again the next, and then the next day and next thing you know quite some time has passed and you would barely remember you had a habit at all. Now my question to you is, Has the habit turned into an addiction? If it has its okay you can still get over it, that just means we have a lot more to talk about, But if its just a bad habit like biting your nails or farting in public we can definitely work through it together. If you ever have a moment of weakness feel free to email us at anytime and we will try our best to get you though it. Well I hope you sunny days and starry nights. Kess-Kess
I have also been struggling for a very long time to kick a habit. I'm a nail biter...as disgusting and painful as it is I just cant stop sometimes until it starts to bleed. There are times where I can go a month or so without gnawing on my fingers constantly and then for whatever reason; a scary movie or an extra boring class I just get the urge to bite all my nails off. I really feel that it is possible to stop a habit, but you have to really want it. When I get the urge to bite all my nails off in my mind I just really don't care anymore and do it. The thing is if you get the feeling that you want to do your habit you have to convince your self that its not something that your really interested in doing. I have always heard that you only have to go 21 days without doing the habit and then you will no longer be tied down by your habit. So my answer is that yes I think that you can kick a habit I would just say take every day in stride and wake up each morning with the mind set that can overcome your habit. I haven't been biting for 6 days and counting so let me know how it goes and if it helps keep in mind that I'm struggling with you.
<3>
I have struggled with so many habits in my life, I have been so beat down by failure. Today I can honestly say I am more free than I ever have been. People that have never had a life controlling habit or one that has changed their life for the worse do not understand the word FREE. I DO and am sure if you are truly wanting to leave this behind, you will too. I have put an end to many habits in my life by changing my mind set towards them. People do what they want, not what they feel like they have to. Somebody may say " I need to quit smoking for the money or my health." but they continue to smoke. How about the want? "I do not want to smoke, it is just a glitch in my brain, or a habit I need to break" Approach is first and planning is second. I do not know your habit, but this will help with any habit. Knowing what triggers that habit, and to become stronger in your mind, stay away from those. Accountability is key. You need somebody in your life who you can share this habit with, that will not fall with you. You need to honestly trust and let this person help you. You can break this habit IF YOU WANT!!! Steeder.
Apt1227,
I am very confused about the relationship that I have with my best friend. He is a gay male and I am a straight female, but I feel that he understands me so well and we have so much fun together. I am actually starting to have mixed feelings for him. I know that he is gay but sometimes I feel like I like him as more than just a friend. At times, it seems as though he could maybe feel the same way. I know this sounds incredibly stupid because no one wants to be the dumb girl that falls for her gay best friend but I'm afraid that I have. My question is, do I tell him? I'm afraid that if I do, I will lose a great friend. What should I do?
Confused in Virginia
Dear confused.
I want to start off by saying thanks so much for the kind words. We appreciate hearing that. Ok, so I thought the first time I read this that you should tell him how you really feel and if he really loves you then he would understand. But now after some thought I think that it may be better for your friendship if you refrained from springing on him how you feel. If he was a single straight mail that was your best friend then I would say go for it. But the fact is that he's gay. To have the courage to come out, you have to put alot of long hard thought into the matter so even though he may love you too the thing is that he will probably never be attracted to you, and that would not be fair for either of you to be in that relationship. If you do decide to tell him even though like I said, I think its better if you don't, I doubt you will lose him as a friend. I also feel like you need to think of him as a girl friend not a guy that you are friends with. Other than that I'm really unsure of how to answer this question! In the end I guess my answer is go with your heart but you never wanna come on too strong or too desperate.
<3>
Once upon a time there was a straight boy and a gay boy, they lived in a magical kingdom called the small town. The straight boy was the most beautiful prince in ALL the land, and the gay boy was the only gay boy in the village. The gay boy fell in love because the two were such good friends. He felt as though the prince could have the same feelings back at times....Look I'm not even going to go on. This story does not have a good ending, But here's a better one that's more your type. I'm gay, and I had a best friend many many moons ago, we were so close we could practically read each others mind via text msg. So I know where you're coming from. Well... She came around one day and told me that she thought she was falling in love with me. And it hurt. Because I really did love her, we would spend so much time together that at times it felt like she could be all I need. But then I was reminded that I couldn't be in love with her, or push the relationship any farther and be happy. She began to suffocate me with the love stuff. Well This is what I said, "I love you girl, I really do, more than most people could fathom, I'm just not in love with you, I wasn't born to be in love with you, and I couldn't make a relationship out of this and not feel terrible." I think it's fantastic that you are in love with your bff, I really do. Here's the thing, much like my situation, You and this boy couldn't be together. It's just not fair, to either one of you. Do you want to be in a relationship and be with someone who isn't drowning in love with you? If it was me, and I told her this, I would constantly be wanting something more, the love wouldn't be there, going to bed would be no good, not to mention depressing, and I just couldn't do that to you. You deserve more. Not that he's not a great guy, You just deserve someone straight, why put the both of you in that position? Well, my friendship with this girl went on...and eventually she couldn't handle it because the rejection was just too much for her. And I understood that. We're no longer friends, and sometimes people are only in our lives for a season. And that's okay. Personally I think you could tell him, but be prepared. And I would say just wait...because the man of your dreams is going to come along and when he does, I know you need someone to help you pick out that white dress. Xoxo Grey.
Thank you for the inspiration. Your question is a bit tough. In the end when you take action or not you still have to decide whether he is what you want and if you are willing to take the risk to get what you most want. To get started I am a straight male and am dating a girl who I had to go far out of my way to get to speak with her and when I did finally did speak the conversation was so basic and quick I made no progress. I did know this girls friends, so I had to decide what to do. I could put the word in with her friends who would relay it to her and she would become interested or it would make me look like the immature guy who was afraid to approach her and had a stupid crush. So I decided to try, I weighed the risk and decided that if it worked the gain would be worth so much more than if it failed, I would have to feel uncomfortable for a little while around some friends or my life would change and become better. Well It worked! We are dating today and the relationship is amazing. She is actual one of the writers on this blog. In this situation in my life going out there was so worth it and paid off. I would never have been able to forgive myself if I had not tried. You wrote how he understands you so much and is such a good friend. How could he not understand now? Also how could he let you caring about him so much ruin your relationship? I don't believe a best friend would end the relationship because you express your feelings. You may get denied but will move forward from here but, YOUR DREAMS MAY COME TRUE!! Everything in life worth having is worth going after. Don't be afraid to fail you will have another chance to succeed tomorrow. Will you be able to just let this go if you dont try? Will you ever be at peace if you never know? The decision is all yours. There is only one way to find true closure. Steeder.
Thank you so much for the compliment and hopefully our advice will allow you to make a better decision in the end. Don't worry we will always have an answer for you. Well you have got yourself into a little predicament, and I completely understand your frustration. I feel you should tell him, however lets start of with the basic definition of a best friend; "The one friend who is closest to you, or a person you know well and regard with affection and trust." So with that said, as a best friend he should understand how you feel and why you feel that way. I can tell you though the timing has to be flawless, because that could possibly determine his reaction. If your friendship is truly that strong that you can call him your BFF, then it will be able to withstand anything you throw at it. Well I hope you have Sunny days and starry nights. And Hey I would love to know the outcome of this situation so please feel free to comment back, I have a feeling you have nothing to worry about. Kess-Kess
Hello. I am really shy when it comes to being in large groups of people. I party all the time but never really have enough nerve to walk up to people I don't know and start a conversation. I have often wished that I could be the center of the party, but I am always afraid of what people will think of me. That they might think that I am a complete sped. I have never really had great self-confidence. I was wondering if maybe you could give me some advice on how to be more confident in social settings...
Lamo in Nevada
Lamo, I've never had an issue with being social. Honestly I've always been a very outgoing and personable, that doesn't mean I don't get incredibly nervous in party situations, especially when there's cute boys. We all know how that can be! I do have friends who also struggle with this same problem. I think alot of times people, like yourself, find themselves in these situations and pick out anything they can from the crowd that makes them different. The fear of falling is what keeps us all from stepping out onto a ledge. Worrying about what people think of you will get you nowhere, fast. Trust me I've been there. Their opinions of you will do nothing for you in the long run. So here's my answer: Get your confidence bumping with some awesome music before you get there and don't stop the party once you get there. Get out there and push yourself against your fears. Becoming the life of the party is all in your hands, you just have to fake some confidence and face the music. I'm probably not the best person to answer this question just
because I am such a social butterfly. Mwah! Xoxo Grey.
We all take comfort in saying alot of other people have the same problem as me and I am not alone in this. This is one of those situations. I personally feel the same. I have been very successful in relationships, in life and have been very popular with many friends. I still struggle in large groups or at parties. I have even found myself rehearsing what would make a great conversation or would make me look cool in front of others. I have found this is only a partial fix. Really the root of the problem is being concerned with what others think about me. I have come to the conclusion that relationships and people come and go and rarely ever last. So why do I care about what they think. I have found in group situations; if I make myself focus on that fact, tomorrow I will still be fine, I will still have friends. It does seem to boost your confidence and take your mind off of what other people think. We are our worst critics, always judging ourselves a very unfair judgment. I have found that people always see us differently than we see ourselves. Realizing that, will help you so much. You may think that people think you are unattractive when you are great looking, or you are a sped when you are pretty cool. People tell me all the time I am really good looking but I do not feel that I am. I have begun to see I do not see myself as others do. Everybody has self confidence issues of some sort, no matter who they are or what they look like. Realize you are just as good as everybody else, worth loving and being loved. Maybe you are the only one who thinks otherwise. Steeder.
Well this is an interesting question for me because I have always been a really shy person. I have really red hair and always have. When I was younger people would always come up to me and comment on my hair and touch it. It always freaked me out and finally I would just resort to hiding behind one of my parents legs. As a result I am very self conscious and it is hard for me to assert myself in social settings. But in recent years I heard somewhere that every time you go outside of your comfort zone that you make yourself a stronger person, So I have been trying lately to make myself uncomfortable as often as possible. Any time that I am at a party I just try to think that everyone is here for a good time so I just go for it. The thing is that most people seem to want to talk about themselves so maybe one way to start a conversation is to start by asking questions about themselves rather than giving information about you. Also if it is a party with dancing and you have an issue with that; Again, I feel like you should just go for it. I used to always be so scared that everyone would think that my dancing sucked and that I looked like a complete idiot, But the thing is dancing is just a personal expression of who you are and quite frankly all dancing looks pretty ridiculous if you ask me. Any ways just be yourself, I'm sure people will like you regardless and if they don't, screw them, they don't deserve your attention. Good luck and just remember,have fun and love your self.
<3kayla
Lamo in Nevada
Well, being the social butterfly that I am, I hope my tips can help you to be
be outgoing and confident at a social event. Remember you are your biggest critic so let's start with step one.
Tip #1: Believe in yourself!
Believe in yourself that you are valuable and you can bring a lot to the conversation and to the table. You need to believe in yourself before anyone can believe in you. If you are passionate about something share it with others. By talking about things you feel you excel in or have a lot of knowledge about you will feel confident about the subject. This will make people take a glance and realize that you believe in yourself and so should they.
Tip #2: Take long deep breaths.
If you start to feel overwhelmed by the situation and you just don't feel like you are confident enough to tackle the task at hand, take long, deep breaths. By relaxing your body and mind through breathing, you will feel more confident and the shyness will just melt away. You can also try to literally shake the tension from your body by shaking out your arms and hands. You may want to do when no one is watching. as to not get the awkward stares from your fellow party goers.
Tip #3: Face your fears.
If you feel you become more reserved and shy when you are at social events then force yourself to go where there are people to talk to and interact with. If you have a shyness for the opposite sex then force yourself to join a group that has both male and female members.
Tip #4: Befriend a social Butterfly.
You may also find it easy to find someone who poses the qualities that you want at a social event or just in general and follow there lead.
I hope these tips help you in becoming center of attention. However before I conclude this blog, I would just like to prepare you for the day you become the life of the party. There will always be people that judge you and talk about you it comes with the territory. So have to start by not caring what people think you because in the end it doesn't even matter. So feel free to send us an email about your time in the limelight and how you put my tips in effect. Well I hope you have sunny days and starry nights. Kess-Kess
Hey. I have issues reading aloud in front of a group of people, it really sucks when I am at school. It seems like the teacher always picks me to stand up in front of the class and makes me read. I need some advice on how to read smoother so that I don't look like an ass in front of the class.
Stuttering in TX
Dear Stuttering In TX
Hey, hows it going? I felt like i should answer this blog first because I can totally understand
how you feel about not only struggling with something in your life, about yourself that you don't
like and want to change but are having a hard time with. I also can relate with the idea of being
put in fornt of others and not being comfortable. I personally am unable to function correctly in
front of other people, like rite now i am reading out loud as I type and I sound like a total idiot.
So I hope this helps you and makes you feel better. I feel like stuttering can be looked at as alot of things that you want to accomplish. You have to start some were, develop a plan and technique to improve your skills. I have read the actor James Earl Jones had a terrible stuttering problem as a child which is strange because he is famous for his voice and the fact that he is awesome enough to be the voice of Darth Vader speaks for itself, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LET THIS HOLD YOU BACK FROM ANYTHING!. Along with you so many people have struggled with this problem and overcome. If you want to read about a few names you might recognize click on this WebSite http://www.d.umn.edu/~cspiller/stutteringpage/famous.htm So a plan or schedule needs to be set into play. In the movie The Notebook one of the characters had a bad stuttering problem as a child and he began reading poetry out loud on a regular basis which fixed the problem. Also I have read researchers have discovered that strangely people who normally tend to stutter don't while they are singing. To use this to your advantage, try forming a rhythm to your voice when you speak. Before you say something out loud, try and take a moment to briefly run your sentences in your head mentally, before you actually say them. Maybe talking slowly and clearly is better than not making sense at all.***This one is for public speaking. Even people who normally don't stutter tend to out of nervousness when they have to give a speech. Fix your gaze towards a certain focal point at the back of the room. Avoid looking at anybody directly.Unfortunately, only you can stop the stuttering problem you have. There is no magic pill or device that can do it for you. The good news is, you can stop the stuttering in practically no time if you know how to do it right. So i hope this helps. Give me an update in the future with any progress, I am excited
hear how you are doing. Steeder.
Stutterer, I think we had the same English teacher. No joke. In high school I had the same issue with a teacher, I never knew if it was because he didn't like me or because he thought I was fantastic. I'm really not that great in english so I'm guessing he just didn't like me, whatever he was very abrassive anyways. Did you see the movie the notebook? It was great and there's a part in it where it talks about stammerring but I don't really think that applies to you, if it does then follow it, and read poetry every night outloud to help you read smoother. My personal problem was that I had to read out loud in front of my peers and I sat behind my high school crush so there was alot of pressure. So this is what I did; when my teacher would call on me, I would take a nice deep breath, slowly let it out and read as if I was just reading to a child, and don't be afraid to go in after class and say, look, I stammer and I don't appreciate being called on every damn day. Quit it! I'm sure he'll understand if you're nice, mine didn't but that's another day. Also if it's a major issue and you're being deliberatly made fun of or called out because of it, speak with your administration and try speech therapy, it's very confidential. No worries mate, anyone who laughs at your stuttering needs a good swift kick in the pants, and some girls and guys find it cute. Xoxo Grey.
I choose to second Steeder's answer, because he said exactly what I would say.
<3kayla
I'm with <3kayla
Kess-Kess
It's SUNDAY!!!
It's Sunday! And we're all hard at work updating the questions, we've got most of the answers done we'll probably be posting anywhere between 4 - 9 questions today. We're all so excited, you guys are too cute... This blog won't be up long just till tonight when we update. apt1227
Saturday, January 24, 2009
A quick note.
Dear readers, We're all really sorry that it's taken sooo long to reply to your questions, we love them all so much! Some of the things you said were so sweet and nice, and we appreciated ALL of them. Like I said we're all new at this and so, some things have been changed. For instance; We will not be posting weekly but instead daily, or as close to daily as possible. We're all very busy, we all work full time jobs. However we will still be answering EVERY question we receive. Also we do this at night. If we had the time during the day to answer these we would but until you all start donating to cover the rent of apt 1227 we will be writing, editing, and posting at night. Tonight we found we could only answer one question, it won't always be this way, it was just a really hectic night here at the apt. We decided not to post it right away because it looks almost like favoritism. Really it was just the first one we read. So in order to keep this thing equal and efficient we will be posting it tomorrow. We all want you to know, we're here for you. Any question, any topic, nothing is off limits. And we mean NOTHING. Please submit your questions, we love them all so far and we will answer each and every one of them as soon as possible. We're hoping because tomorrow is sunday to answer and update all the questions and to even add some foto's of us and our habitat. We would have done it today but our apartment complex lost power, for a very long time, and so we had no internet. I don't know if you have ever tried to upload a blog from a blackberry, palm, or sidekick, but last night, none of those would work. We're really sorry. Please send in as many as you like as often as you like and keep checking back for updates.
Apt1227
p.s. Sorry I know it's long but also you'll be finding out more about us tomorrow. Keep reading!
Apt1227
p.s. Sorry I know it's long but also you'll be finding out more about us tomorrow. Keep reading!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Send them in and stay tuned!
You can now email in your questions to apt1227@verizon.net. Please send us your questions! Also try to be descriptive, some of them so far are just so vague, but we love them all and we can't wait for more! Thanks!
Apt 1227
Oh also we'll be posting our bio's and some more information, as soon we possibly can.
Apt 1227
Oh also we'll be posting our bio's and some more information, as soon we possibly can.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Apartment 1227 Answers your questions
Hi, We're Apartment 1227, We're here for you! We'll answer your questions as they're received and we'll be posting weekly.
Who are we? We are four individuals, We all differ in race, origin, age, sex, education, and sexual preference. Our opinions do not come from any college text book, or outside influence, this is our advice to the best of our ability.
Why do we do this? Why not?
How long have we been doing this? How long will we be doing this? Hopefully forever.
What gives us the right to give you advice? Your questions.
Ask us anything, from relationship, parenting, health, sex & sexuality, drug and alcohol, legal, career, to music and theory topics, and More! We've all experienced a lot in our lives, and that's why we began our blog. We want to help you, in anything. If we can't help you, we'll try our best to find someone who can
Four young people from the ages of 19 to 25 here to answer your questions. Honestly, what could be finer? We're people just like you, just wanting to start something fun and interactive. We will all be posting answers to your questions and little updates along the way. Right now, our names are not important, but you'll find them out soon. Right now a little anonymity is okay, we're all new at this. We'll be posting more about us every week. So keep reading! Thanks!
Apt 1227
Who are we? We are four individuals, We all differ in race, origin, age, sex, education, and sexual preference. Our opinions do not come from any college text book, or outside influence, this is our advice to the best of our ability.
Why do we do this? Why not?
How long have we been doing this? How long will we be doing this? Hopefully forever.
What gives us the right to give you advice? Your questions.
Ask us anything, from relationship, parenting, health, sex & sexuality, drug and alcohol, legal, career, to music and theory topics, and More! We've all experienced a lot in our lives, and that's why we began our blog. We want to help you, in anything. If we can't help you, we'll try our best to find someone who can
Four young people from the ages of 19 to 25 here to answer your questions. Honestly, what could be finer? We're people just like you, just wanting to start something fun and interactive. We will all be posting answers to your questions and little updates along the way. Right now, our names are not important, but you'll find them out soon. Right now a little anonymity is okay, we're all new at this. We'll be posting more about us every week. So keep reading! Thanks!
Apt 1227
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